Do you have a boy? Does he have a penis? If your answer to both these questions is “yes,” then you should be talking to him now.
I don’t have a boy. I have a girl and if you don’t talk to your boy about his penis, – and trust me on this – he will be talking to my daughter about it. Well, not “talk” exactly, more like make exaggerated gestures toward it and snort-laugh.
When they are toddlers, you have to discuss their penis in order to improve their aim. By the time they are in pre-school, they need guidance on touching it. The answer is: in private. And for the love of God, call it a penis. Don’t make up childish names for it.
My daughter got in the car after school one day and said, “All 4th-grade boys want to talk about is their penises.” By the end of summer, those sweet 3rd-grade munchkins had come back to school as 4th-grade hellions obsessed with their sexual apparatus.
It’s natural that as their hormones start to ramp up boys are obsessed with their “other brain.” The problem is that parents aren’t talking to their boys about their penises early enough or maybe not at all. Boys need the language and knowledge to know what was going on with the changes in their most fascinating body part. With information, they would be less likely to behave like lunatics.
It wouldn’t be hilarious to point at it and tell a girl to “suck it.” They wouldn’t constantly be making hand gestures that exaggerated their size and (imagined) skill.
My daughter isn’t embarrassed by these antics because she has the knows what is going on.
The daily Penis Report is an important part of our afternoon debriefing on the ride home. I think it is important that she has the intelligence and sense of humor necessary to deal with boys’ penis obsessions for the rest of her life.
I am issuing a call to all Moms-of-Boys to join me in talking about penises with their son as much as I do with my daughter.
The world will be a better place when we can all openly talk about penises.
Previously Published on Suburban Misfit Mom